November 2000




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11/02/2000

My child learned about death today. We had been hoping to wait until she got a hamster. But, unfortunately, things don't always go as planned. It was a slow agonizing death for all involved. My daughter was wailing and screaming at the top of her lungs "No go, no go!". She tried holding on but to no avail. We tried explaining to her that everything has a cycle and this cycle had ended. We tried redirecting her somewhere else, but she insisted on staying until the bitter end. It finally came time to say our last goodbyes. Tears streamed down my child's face as she whispered "buh-bye, see ya. I love you". We pulled her away so the poor thing could utter it's final breath in peace. Next year I think we'll wait until she's in bed before dismantling the kiddie pool.

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11/09/2000

"Oh my lord, I gotta go!" And thus ends another phone conversation. The phone ringing is the universal symbol to all children to get into trouble, and my darling is no exception. Today I was talking to the child's father and my daughter came running up to me very wet. It seems she had tinkled in her potty chair and didn't tell me. She then dipped a toy into her rather full potty chair and used it as a sprayer. I think a new hole in the ozone opened above my house for the amount of spray disinfectant I used. Other times that have warranted this response from me would be when I discovered purple crayon lines on the big screen, or as it is more commonly known, my husband's first baby. Once my deranged child chased our kitten into the fireplace. No, it wasn't on, but have you seen the inside of a fireplace? I'm still finding sooty paw prints on my rug. There was the time I noticed my daughter no longer had cereal in her bowl, but instead was munching on cat food. The time she learned to unlock the back door and left home. The time my child decided her doll needed a diaper change resulted in me refolding an 80 pack of wipes and cleaning powder mixed with diaper rash ointment out of the rug. And lets not forget the time I thought my child was colouring with her brown crayon (use your imagination). Oh no! The phone's ringing again, I can't wait to see what happens next.

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11/16/2000

I give up. I try and be a good parent and do right by my child. I read and research and make decisions based on recent studies. My child is happy and healthy, then wham! I find out something that is the direct opposite of what I'm doing is better for my child. All I've heard about since I've been in this parenting game is that a child's self esteem is very important. Praise them often so they can be well-adjusted little adults. Give them the attention that our generation lacked from our parents (according to the studies). Five minutes ago I read an article that basically stated if I tell my child they are smart for counting to 20 then I am setting her up to be afraid of failure. So, I can't tell her to count faster next time but I also shouldn't congratulate her? Now what? But there's more, there is a canned pasta dinner that many kids love. Because it is so popular, the company decided to up the calcium. A good and noble thing, right? Well, not really. This same product contains quite a bit of sodium. Well, sodium prevents proper absorbtion of calcium. I'm tired of studies. I'm tired of finding out my child's favourite toy will lead to poor grades, or her favourite food prevents good sleeping habits just to read the opposite once we've phased these things out. Our great-grandparents didn't have these problems, but then again, they didn't have time to read the latest studies, what with raising a dozen kids.

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11/23/2000

Thanksgiving is upon us and it's time to name off things we are thankful for. Yes, I'm thankful for my health and my family but I think some things get overlooked in the thanking procedure.
I'm thankful for......
  • the fact that Elmo's World only lasts 20 minutes. Any more and they'd have to lock mama up.
  • when I yell to my child that Mama is sleeping she doesn't recognize the absurdity of the statement.
  • Febreeze. The only thing that makes a car ride with my husband's hockey equipment bareable.
  • Jerry Springer. I am always reminded there are people way more messed up than my child could ever be.
  • goldfish crackers, even when they are ground into the carpet, they still don't stain.
  • a little bit of sauce can make food seem appetizing to a toddler.
  • if I can make it through 300 renditions of rock a bye baby from the Peaceful Planet Aquarium, my child will actually sleep for a 2 hour nap.
  • Duplos, they're too big for the vaccum.
  • my husband, if it weren't for him I'd have to wash the pans myself.
  • my dog, who can always find where that smell is coming from.
  • washable crayons.
  • washable child.
  • Goodwill, they'll take any toy, no matter how loud and annoying.
  • batteries that do eventually die.
  • a strong coffee table that can hold at least 30 pounds jumping at full force.
  • my warm bed, especially when I don't have to get out of it at 3 AM to change a diaper.
  • flight attendents who will bring you as many drinks and snacks as it takes to keep your kid happy.
  • groceries that are delivered and drive-thru dairies.
  • being able to dress my child without her wanting to wear something else.
  • closed captioning. I didn't get to hear Chandler propose to Monica, but I got to read it.
  • the internet, so I never feel alone in this game called life.

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11/30/2000

Having a baby was the best thing I ever did. She has made gift giving a cinch. My hubby and I used to agonize for weeks trying to find the perfect gift for one of our parents. But now that they are grand-parents all we have to do is give a gift that incoporates our child in someway and "wah-la!" we have retained our good children status for at least another 2 months. Those carts in the mall that put your kids picture on a cheesy mug? Turns out, grandparents love them, the cheesier the better! Thankfully, our kid is a ham and poses anytime she sees a camera, even if you're just checking how many pictures are left. And believe me when I say we get as much mileage out of her as possible. I used to think those sweatshirts with baby handprints were just tacky, grandparents turn teary-eyed at the thought of their little princess's baby hands. And it works for cards too. We just put a picture of the star grandchild on a computer generated card and they don't even turn the card over to look for the Hallmark symbol. We were running out of ideas recently so decided to do a little twist on a pic with just our baby. We threw my husband in the mix. We got the sappiest picture of father daughter smiling and hugging each other both wearing cute Dodger outfits. That picture won us extra babysitting time. And, as soon as we've given every baby picture product that's out there, we'll just have another baby and the process starts all over again.

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